By Sara Rose
Quotes
~ MARILYN MONROE
“Strong women don’t have ‘attitudes’ we have standards”
~ MARY SHELLEY
“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves”
~ ALICE WALKER
“The most common way women give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any”
What does it mean to be a woman, or of the feminine essence? A woman is life; she is creation and where inspiration comes from. We all have a balance of the feminine and masculine energy, and we can all tap into each of that energy within. Although I don’t normally use gender for this energy, but we will be referring more so to the female gender in this article.
For centuries, women have gotten as they say, “the short end of the stick” in the Western world and culture. Even more so in the far Eastern areas of the world. Women have always had “rules” that we are to follow, even now in the modern world. We are expected to have children (literally create life) then raise this life to become well grounded citizens of “normal society”. But no matter how we do this, we are always doing it wrong by societies standers. If we have children then we go back to work, we are told we are neglecting our family. If we have children and decide to stay home with them, then we are called lazy. If we dress nicely and put on a face of makeup, we’re told that we are trying too hard, and if we don’t dress up or use expensive products then we are again, lazy or we must not care about ourselves enough to attract a mate. For women, it’s a lose/lose situation. But to make this situation even worse, it is 65 % women who make other women feel as if they’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not young enough, bad mothers, bad wives and so on. This is done subconsciously by participating in photo shoots that will go into magazines, silently letting us know we will never fit in to what society expects. Or, this is done through straight up judgment. I cannot count how many times I have heard a woman judge another, speaking harshly of her just because of a decision she had made. This magazine cover is the perfect example of exploiting, and making women believe that they need to be just like the woman in the photo.
The rest of this lose/lose situation comes from men. It may not seem this way, and don’t get me wrong, this is not a man bashing newsletter. This is only to point out the distractions that keep women from stepping into their own power. When a woman chooses to take on a routinely mundane life, she may as well lock the cage and throw away the key all on her own. And I’m not saying there is anything wrong with a mundane life, but taking on this role means to become conformed to what others around her expect from her. To be a wife, a mother, and to obtain a “regular job” comes with certain boundaries that will somewhat contain a women’s true power. We, as women, were born with a super power inside of us. (some men as well) and this power is our wild side, our intuition. When we’re forced to conform to what society expects of us, then we can easily lose our intuition and then become blinded from the threats and toxic patterns around us. This is how women become trapped in a metaphorical cage and develop co-dependent tendencies, they become okay with abusive behavior from their partners, develop self-hate or judgment and even lose the knowing of when it’s time to leave a situation. And, the longer a woman is trapped in this cage, the more her intuition fades and she losses that urge to be herself. The intuitive side is stripped away, and we become the person who everyone else says we should be. We can’t be ourselves because what if someone notices? We are taught at a young age to behave, be quiet, sit straight, act like this, act like that, act like a lady by standards. If we veer off those standards then we have become many names to others around us. Irresponsible, the black sheep, an outsider, because how dare we do anything out of order from “regular society”!
Before more modern times, such as now, if a women were to “get out of line” meaning, state her own opinion, leave an abusive husband, or act out of character in any way, she would be deemed crazy, or “gone mad” or even worse, she would be cast out and labeled a witch. Let’s take a moment to remember exactly what a “witch” is. This word actually translates to “woman healer” or “energy healer” doesn’t sound so bad, does it? We were also taught that the word witch would be associated with something evil, and that’s because when modern medicine came into play, the men who were doctors were threated by the women healers. This is because the women were helping each other and their services were free, using herbs, spells, tarot, and many other divination tools to help others. If people didn’t need a doctor, or the drugs they were trying to sell, then how would they make money? At some point in the 17th century, it had become illegal for anyone (women) to practice any kind of healing, or even mid-wives to help women. If they were caught doing so, this would result in a large fine, penalty, or sometimes even death, hence the witch trails. This is how we become tapped. This is how we lose who we are and give our power over to society. We must do as we are told and keep our heads down, our mouths shut. And then, we lose our intuition, and our wild side, the soul side. This is how society keeps women in check.
We are all celestial beings, meant to rise in consciousness, to learn, to grow, and to dance through life. When we are stripped of this, some women give up, give in, and allow others to take their power away, leaving them in a miserable life with nothing to look forward to. Most times when this happens to a woman, she will lose inspiration, creativity, passion, and a joy for life all together. And sometimes, this ends in the need to escape. Meaning, she will opt out of life. This is a sad truth to let sink in, but it happens more than I wanted to know.
So, how do we take our power back? How do we return to the soul? First of all, we need to be okay with disappointing others around us. But, ask yourself this: who are you living for? You, or the people around you? Sometimes we have to disappoint others in order to move forward. For example, leaving an abusive relationship, but being afraid to upset family or even children involved. In this case, what is the women teaching her children if she doesn’t leave? Intuitive knowing needs to be passed down from woman to child, but if the woman is unable to do this, then the child will find herself in the same situations later in life. The child may not fully understand in the moment if they are young, but eventually they would respect the mothers choice of breaking out of the metaphorical cage and toxic cycle.
Or, another example. Perhaps you have been working at the same place for many years, and leaving would be difficult, but the person you work for doesn’t treat you fairly. This is just another cage, holding you back from something bigger and better out there for you. The ego has put fear in your heart, telling you that you have no choice but to stay in a toxic situation. This is when women say, “it’s okay, I’ll just deal with it” But why? Why would you “deal” with anything less than you deserve? These examples are of women who have been stripped of their power. They will just put up with whatever they need to because it seems easier than leaving.
The woman who leaves a toxic situation might feel the judgment from others, especially family. Asking her if she has gone crazy. And the same for the woman who decides to quit her job and find somewhere where she will be appreciated. They will have others stating their opinions, judging, asking questions, and making the woman feel as if she had made the wrong choice or made a mistake. But choosing your own wellbeing over what others say is the highest of strength a woman can have.
We can take back our power by believing that we never lost it in the first place.
Our power, our intuition never went anywhere, it has always been inside of you, you just forgot because of all the distractions around you. Because you were out into a cage while your soul has been waiting for you the whole time. Waiting for you to wake up and make a move. We step back into our power when we are brave enough to follow our passions instead of putting our energy into others at all times. Yes, you can be a wife, a mother, or whatever your label may be, and still follow your passions. Women are designed to create. Create life, songs, words by writing, painting, music, dancing, or anything else that is exciting. If we can follow our passions just for brief moments, then the cage door starts to open a little at a time. Take the few minutes a day to be who you really are, no matter who is watching or judging. Claim your power and keep your intuition strong. We are women, and we are the creators of this reality. Don't forget it!
Tips for women to raise their vibration and step into their power!
~ Draw yourself a bubble bath, lay back and relax. The water element is known for easing stress and promoting self-love!
~ Start that new hobby you keep thinking about but put off until you “have time” Following your passions opens up new doors of opportunity.
~Read that book you keep looking at as you walk by but tell yourself you’ll do it later. Getting lost in a fantasy world can promote creativity which leads to self-love.
~ Wine & Dine! Treat yourself to a nice dinner and glass of wine. There’s nothing wrong with going solo and eating by yourself can help heal certain traumas like co-dependence.
~ Try something new. Try a dance class, cooking class or something you’ve always wanted to check out!
If you're feeling trapped in a situation please use the resources available.
~ Reach out to a trusted friend
~ Reach out to a family member
~ Reach out to Nova Vita 519- 752-0811
~ For more urgent situations, call 911
I now host a women's support group every Sunday evening from 5pm-630pm, at 81 Brant Ave, in Brantford. If you would like to check it out then just come on in. If you have any question please don't hesitate to ask.
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